Bella Loves Jenna

What do cannibals, Nazis, creepy guys on tricycles, Hannibal Lector masks, water torture, necrophilia fantasy, and electric chairs have in common? They all appear in Bella Loves Jenna. I'm assuming this title was pitched as "high-concept" porn. And to its credit, the film does have sophisticated camera work and some interesting effects, but it is also packed with every dream sequence/mind-of-a-psychopath cliché known to the cinematic science. It's like a freshman film student's homage to David Lynch and David Cronenberg. They follow those director's patterns, but without much meaning behind it all. Which is too bad because there are some fine sex scenes which would've been better without the overwrought "gee, aren't we edgy?" trappings.

Scene 1: Jenna Jameson, Belladonna
The flick starts with Randy Spears doing a passable Rod Serling impression to let us know the plot, such as it is. But we're concerned with the action. Jenna pushes a gurney with a "dead" Bella on it through a dirty access tunnel. With CPR and full mouth pussy sucking (which is awesomely hot, to coin a phrase) she brings the wonderfully nasty brunette back to life. They grapple on the table, lip locked and intense, and Bella eats Jenna with excellent tongue work and flickering fingers, stuffed four deep into the blonde. It's animalistic and smoking hot despite the creepy-guy hanging around ringing a tricycle bell. Bella gets on all fours so Jenna can hand fuck her with as many fingers as she can legally put in there. There are some good camera angles but I'd have liked to have seen more pull away shots to showcase Bella's kicking body and Jenna's fine frame. The superstar blonde uses her digits to violate the big name brunette and you just gotta love Bella's absolute commitment to porn fucking. She gets really worked over and lets us watch. What a gal.

Scene 2: Anthony Hardwood, Monica Sweetheart, Jenna Jameson
Nazis are interrogating Jenna now (don't ask, it's not supposed to make sense) and claiming she can bring back the dead and make dreams become real. So, a fetish nurse Jenna in a wig and a vinyl clad doctor with fucked up scab make-up use a speculum on a patient in stirrups and petticoats. This is a total "what the hell?" scene. Why does he have herpes all over his mouth? Is that supposed to be a metaphor for our health care system? Or just a gross out? Whatever, despite the scabs and the creepy-guy on a tricycle the scene lacks heat. Sure, he makes the patient (Monika) suck the speculum and makes her ride his cock in reverse cowgirl so we get a good look at her smooth and toned body, but she's not a great performer and the action gets bland. The wiggity camera work and "spooky doctor's office" set don't help with the sexiness either. Jenna plays with herself off to the side mostly, after fingering Monica half-heartedly. So she doesn't add anything, even in the hot nurse outfit. And why the hell are they wrapped in Christmas lights while they fuck on the table? And do we really need to see creepy guy jerking off? How erotic would it be if a weather beaten, scrawny hobo rolled into your doctor/nurse fantasy on a fucking tricycle and started beating off?

Scene 3: Jenna Jameson, Justin Sterling
Back to Jenna being strapped into an electric chair and then the Nazis again demanding to know how to bring the dead back to life. So now we go to the morgue to see Jenna and another corpse (Sterling in a convincing bald wig) laid out on an autopsy table. She defibs him with the help of that goddamn creepy guy in nurse costume. That doesn't work, so she writhes on the cadaver until he's hard, strokes his cock, straddles his sutured chest and fingers herself until he snaps back to life (which is all standard AMA resuscitation procedure, actually). It's kind of sexy? OK, necrophilia aside, when Sterling and Jameson fuck it's a good time. They 69 and he eats her pussy well as she shows off her top-quality cock sucking abilities. (Remember guys, necromancy is worth one Top Video award.) The fucking begins with reverse cowgirl and we get a treat. It is excellent action. Justin holds Jenna's wrists behind her as she rides. The doggy style is an intense pounding. He keeps her down as he pumps, grips her neck, fishhooks her mouth and it's all a good time. By the time they get to mish with her legs up on his shoulders I still want more wide angles but I'll take what they've got. And then he comes on her tongue to gentle harp music. Because it's "artistic," that's why.

Scene 4. Belladonna, Nacho Vidal
The Nazis threaten Jenna's teddy bear and that somehow segues to Bella in a white latex dress as she gropes on Nacho (complete with scab make-up) in a factory. And creepy-guy (in an even creepier school-girl outfit) swings on a pipe like he's pole dancing. You have been warned. All right, once again, despite the efforts of the director, Bella and Nacho burn holes through the metal piping with the sex. These are two of the most intense performers and they blaze when thrown together. And at first that's true, with heavy handed petting and making out. Then Bella kneels to suck and gets his massive cock stabbed into the back of her throat. As you might expect, she pukes. The camera just misses it, but trust me, she hurls. Talk about a buzzkill. If it were anyone else I'd have stopped watching, but these two actually save the scene and make it one of the best on the disc. With Bella's gumby-flexi figure she gets pounded in various bendy positions and takes his huge tool in the ass like a champ. They even spend a long time screwing up in a tangle of pipes ten feet off the ground. Very Cirque du Soleil. Good stuff. You know, after you forget the creepy guy is there and overlook the spew.

Scene 5: Jenna Jameson
Not quite a scene, but there's nudity. Randy Spears returns to talk about some pseudo-psycho babble that actually ends with the phrase "You see…Jenna is all of us…" Cheese.

Jenna runs down a badly lit hallway in a black wig, breasts and legs bared. She writhes and poses for a while. Then it cuts back to her in the electric chair. The switch is thrown but surreal things happen, including sheep noises. Cut again and she's naked on the floor with a needle in her arm, a huge crucifix on the wall, and a piano… I'm sure this is supposed to be poignant and allegorical but someone should tell them that Jenna nude and rubbing herself (which she does) is the real attraction.

Scene 6: Mya Mason, Julia Taylor, TT Boy
Apropos of nothing, T.T. Boy in bloody scrubs pushes a comatose, wheelchair bound girl in a 50's outfit up to a piano to find an identically dressed and comatose woman on the piano bench. He feels up Mya (the one on the bench) and feeds his cock into her mouth until she wakes up. For a coma patient she's a good cock-sucker. Sleeping girl Julia (in the chair) is spread wide and woken up with some missionary fucking. T.T. scrambles around the piano, sharing out small servings of his dick to various orifices. He's intense and Scrambles over the piano to feed Mya more dick and gets some tag suck action. He pumps Mya with her legs spread wide, which is nice. T.T. is passionate, groping and jumping from one to the other at a frantic pace with some slaps and chokes thrown in. Usually being too jumpy is the downfall of a scene, but it works out all right. It would be fine if the women were a bit more responsive, but they do a decent job staying involved as T.T. leaps around like a horny monkey.

And then we find out that it was all the fantasy of a condemned woman in the moment of death. Surprise! The old "An Occurance at Owl Creek Bridge" device. It's cheap. And yet the sex could be really hot. I'm torn.

DVD - special features: There's a fetish menu, deleted scenes/bloopers, a "Meet Harry" featurette that "explains" the creepy-guy (but not really), website urls, and photo galleries.   Collapse.

What do cannibals, Nazis, creepy guys on tricycles, Hannibal Lector masks, water torture, necrophilia fantasy, and electric chairs have in common? They all appear in Bella Loves Jenna. I'm assuming this title was pitched as "high-concept" porn. And to its credit, the film does have sophisticated camera work and some interesting effects, but it is also packed with every dream sequence/mind-of-a-psychopath cliché known to the cinematic science. It's like a freshman film student's homage to David Lynch and David Cronenberg. They follow those director's patterns, but without much meaning behind it all. Which is too bad because there are some fine sex scenes which would've been better without the overwrought "gee, aren't we edgy?" trappings.... Read the Full Review!